Nums: The "Oh Dear God!" Bacon Apple Pie

I've received a fair number of requests to share the recipe for the bacon apple pie I made for Spectrum's benefit pie auction last month.  So here it is!

The first thing you should know about this pie is that my intention was to just make something ridiculous.  The boring vegan chocolate pie I made last year only brought in about $15 for our collective, so this year I decided to get creative.  I figured that a pie featuring everyone's favorite meat would gain at least a bit more attention (if not donation), especially since I knew that many benefit attendees would be vegan (for those of you not in the know, vegans absolutely love bacon).  But then I tried the "test pie" and decided that this recipe isn't just ridiculous... it's DELICIOUS.

The original recipe came from a cooking blog, but I tweaked the recipe enough that I'm now calling it mine.  Of course those of you who know me know that I like to feed people, so I'm not possessive about recipes.  In other words, take this recipe, tweak it, and feel your arteries harden as you make many, many bacony pies.

The "Oh Dear God!" Bacon Apple Pie

I should note that I make my own pie crust because I'm a friggin food snob.  My favorite recipe comes from Cooks Illustrated, which I of course tweaked a bit as well, mostly because I have problems with authority.  To make the crust, you will need the following:

• 1 1/4 cups unbleached all-purpose flour
• 1/2 tsp table salt
• 1 tbsp sugar
• 6 tbsp cold unsalted butter, cut into small pieces
• 1/4 cup cold vegetable shortening, cut into pieces
• 1/8 cup cold vodka
• 1/8 cup cold water

To make the crust:

• Process 3/4 cups flour, salt, and sugar in food processor until combined, about two 1-second pulses.  Add butter and shortening and process into homogenous dough just starts to collect in uneven clumps, about 15 seconds; dough will resemble cottage cheese curds.
• Scrape bowl with rubber spatula and redistribute dough evenly around processor blade.  Add remaining cup flour and pulse until mixture is evenly distributed around bowl, about 4-6 quick pulses.  Empty mixture into medium bowl.
• Sprinkle vodka and water over mixture.  With rubber spatula, use folding motion to mix, pressing down on dough until dough is slightly tacky and sticks together.  Ball up and wrap dough in plastic wrap and refrigerate at least 45 minutes or up to 2 days.
• After cooled, roll out on generously floured work surface to 12” circle, about 1/8” thick.  Roll dough loosely around rolling pin and unroll into pie plate, leaving at least 1” overhang on each side.

And now for the filling.  You'll need pretty much the "normal stuff" you'd buy to make a non-baconated apple pie:

•  5-6 medium tart apples, peeled, cored, sliced, then halved (Ida Reds worked beautifully)
• 1/4 cup dark brown sugar
• 1 tbsp cinnamon
• 1/2 tsp nutmeg
• 1/4 tsp cloves
• 2 Tbsp cornstarch
• 1/3 cup real maple syrup 

...and then the fun stuff:

• 4 strips bacon, fried to almost-crispy and torn into small pieces
• 6-7 strips raw bacon, halved lengthwise 
• 1 tbsp scotch (something smokey... I used Johnnie Walker Black Label)

Now for the preparation!

 

Preheat your oven to 350*F.  Sprinkle the cooked bacon pieces over the bottom of the crust.  These pieces will continue to cook up into the rest of the filling so that the whole pie has that delicious bacon flavor. 

In a large mixing bowl, mix together the apple slices, brown sugar, nutmeg, cinnamon, cloves, cornstarch, and scotch.  I found that it didn't matter what order this was in, but you want to make sure the apples are coated in all the above goodness by this point, then toss the entire mixture with the maple syrup.  If you really want to get crazy, add up to 1 tbsp of bacon grease from the frying pan.

Empty the filling into the pie crust on top of the bacon pieces.

Now for the real fun... those of you who make pies fairly regularly may have noticed there is no butter in this filling.  That's because you don't need it... you will be building a bacon lattice on top of your pie!  This is where the halved strips of raw bacon come in.  As they cook in the oven, the grease will drip down into the filling, giving your pie even more of a gooey bacony flavor.  (Sidebar: if you need help making a lattice, YouTube has many how-to videos.)


 This is where the recipe may still need more tweaking.  On the test pie, I did not crimp the dough over the bacon pieces as pictured; I simply let the bacon pieces hang over the edge so that when they cooked they would simply shrink.  When I crimped the dough over, the bacon slices shrunk inward and came out a bit small.  You'll have to decide what you like better... the crimped dough looks prettier, but simply letting the long pieces of bacon hang over may be better once cooked.

Bake the pie about 1 hour, until the bacon pieces appear cooked and the apple slices are tender. 

Enjoy!