Being an Ally, Step One: Shut Up and Listen

A number of months ago, I became aware of Trevor MacDonald, a trans* man and father who is now best known for his rejected application to become a La Leche League leader following the tremendous support he received from his local LLL chapter. His blog Milk Junkies covers more than the struggle with LLL Canada, chronicling his experiences being pregnant with and giving birth to his son, chestfeeding, and his family life in general. He started a Facebook group (closed for the sake of privacy, but welcoming to all queer parents and allies) that has become a beacon for queer and gender non-conforming parents of all stripes to gather, exchange information, support one another, vent, etc.

Trevor's situation has driven a depressing wedge in the feminist birth worker blogosphere. Navelgazing Midwife, whose blog I used to frequent, laments, "can’t there be a place where mothers are permitted to just be mothers?" (Sound familiar?) Other "feminist" bloggers have come out in support of LLLC's decision, echoing the same tired arguments we hear in regards to trans* women "invading" woman-only spaces, and of course, adding insult to injury by proposing a "separate" space for trans* and gender non-conforming parents.

Granted there are countless feminist birth workers (and birth workers in general, feminists in general, etc) who have taken this opportunity to look sharply at their own perceptions of gender and parenthood; they have joined in the cry for LLLI to reconsider their moms-only policy. The leaders of Trevor's local LLL group, for example, were the ones who encouraged him to pursue leadership in the first place.

But I digress.

I contacted Trevor right after I learned about his situation, offering my support and echoing his many praises of Dr. Jack Newman (breastfeeding guru who has been instrumental in Trevor's ability to produce milk for his baby). I introduced myself as newly certified IBCLC, and he responded asking if I might join his Facebook group to provide expert advice on clinical lactation issues.

You must understand that when I say newly certified, I mean newly certified. That a well-known figure in queer parenting circles would want my expert advice on anything was far beyond flattering. So I accepted, immediately perusing the board to see where my "expert advice" might be best tossed around.

Six months later, my credential has yet to provide me with any knowledge that would best be offered by someone with, say, actual experience being a chestfeeding parent.

Sure, I've offered some advice from a run-of-the-mill lactation consultant's perspective, digging into my arsenal of research on galactagogues and other ways to overcome suppressed supply for a variety of reasons. But I think it's safe to say that I've done far more learning than teaching in this group. When a trans* woman messaged me privately to ask if she would be able to produce milk for the baby her partner was about to give birth to, I found myself only able to offer information on initiated lactation in general, the same information I pass along to DFAB mamas hoping to provide milk for an adopted baby. After encouraging her to post her inquiry on Trevor's board, she received some amazing information and support from another mama who had been in her exact situation. Not an IBCLC, not a health care provider, just someone who had been there and knew what was up.

It's hard for me to keep my mouth shut, especially on topics like birth, lactation, and other things I'm passionate about. But to be an ally to trans* and gender non-conforming parents, a topic with which I have no personal experience whatsoever, what can I do but listen? Sure, it's nice being the best-trained person in the room, the person that holds an expert credential recognized the world over. But compared to these parents who have been through these unique challenges themselves, I might as well know nothing. Especially given that my extensive training offered no information on trans* health issues in the first place.

Such is the reality of being an ally. Too many people toss around this term, believing it to be a label you obtain by simply proclaiming yourself a supporter. But without a constant re-examining of your internalized biases, a willingness to admit you don't know everything, and a humble attitude about your intersecting privileges, being an ally doesn't mean a whole hell of a lot. In other words, being an ally is less of a label and more of an ongoing process.

I'm hardly trying to paint myself as the "more-badass-ally-than-thou" here, as I struggle with being told I don't know everything as much as the next "expert." But that's really the first step, one that even us uber-passionate loudmouths need to focus on. Shut up. Resist that urge to interject something you read in a book once. Wait. Listen. Validate. Then answer, probably with another question. Also: don't do it to garner thank yous and praise (because you probably won't get much). Do it because it's the right thing to do.

FYI - Breastfeeding Certifications

You know those letters after a doula's name that don't necessarily have to do with being a doula? Often those are credentials from different (but related) organizations and may indicate a specialty in a number of birthy areas: childbirth education, massage and bodywork, breastfeeding support, placenta encapsulation, nursing, etc.

There are many credentials that revolve around lactation, which can often be confusing when an already-exhausted family is searching for the right kind of support. Each of the below certifications qualifies one to offer a certain level of breastfeeding support, however, the IBCLC is the only credential that is qualified to provide clinical assessments and address the full scope of lactation challenges.

The following list lays out what each certification means, how one certifies, and the scope of practice associated with each.

IBCLC - International Board Certified Lactation Consultant - This is a clinical credential that requires several thousand hours of required study, education and training culminating in a once per year international exam given by IBLCE. IBCLCs must rerecertify every 5 years, and every 10 must retake the exam. These clinicians work in hospitals, birth centers, out of their homes, and in private practices. They perform complete evaluations and assessments of both mother and infant and create individual plans of care, working hands on with all breastfeeding challenges as well as more complex health issues.
*Sidenote: I took the IBLCE exam this past July and am waiting on my results, which will be mailed in October.  Fingers crossed! :)

RLC - Registered Lactation Consultant - This credential is used in conjunction with IBCLC within the United States.

CLE - Certified Lactation Educator - CLEs have completed a 20-hour course on breastfeeding support and completed approximately 25 additional hours of out-of-class coursework which culminates in a certificate of completion from CAPPA. CLEs are trained to teach breastfeeding classes and answer basic breastfeeding questions, however, they must refer out to IBCLC for more complex cases and are not trained for hands on consults.

CLC - Certified Lactation Counselor - CLCs have completed a 45 hour course of education, culminating in a certificate of completion, sometimes after completing an end-of-course exam, from The Center for Breastfeeding. They are trained to counsel on normal breastfeeding situations and troubleshoot minor challenges, however, they must refer out to an IBCLC for more complex cases and are not trained for hands-on consults.
*Sidenote: I completed this course as a stepping stone towards the IBCLC. I highly recommend it for any doula or childbirth educator who wishes to hone in on their lactation support skills, or anyone who's considering sitting for the IBLCE exam.

CLS - Certified Lactation Specialist - Similar to CLC, CLSs certify through Lactation Education Consultants by attending a 45-hour course and completing an end-of-course exam. They are trained to educate, support, and counsel mothers on normal breastfeeding situations, however, are not qualified to perform hands-on consults or administer clinical plans of care.
*Sidenote: I know of several doulas who have spoken very highly of this course as a supplement to their doula services, or as a stepping stone to the IBCLC.

BEC - Breastfeeding Educator Certification - Those who hold a BEC have completed an intensive course of study with Birth Arts International. Prospective BECs complete a lengthy in-classroom or self-study course on the science of lactation, anatomy and physiology, pedagogy, sociology, medical terminology, and counseling. They must also complete 600 hours of supervised lactation support in varying clinical settings in their communities.  The BEC certification is community-specific and qualifies students to teach, support, and educate the public on breastfeeding and related issues and policies. 

BC - Breastfeeding Counselor - A relatively new organization, Breastfeeding USA certifies mothers to lead free, highly accessible support groups for breastfeeding mothers. They answer questions regarding normal breastfeeding situations, offer tips for troubleshooting challenges, and refer out to IBCLC support when indicated. 

LLLL - La Leche League Leader - La Leche League International is the oldest breastfeeding support organization in the country, now offering support groups all over the world. LLL leaders receive a multitude of training in normal breastfeeding situations, offering tips for troubleshooting challenges, and know when to refer out to IBCLC support. Offers mom to mom support in a casual and accessible environment. Many IBCLCs started as LLL Leaders.

WIC Certified Breastfeeding Peer Counselor - WIC CBPCs are employed by state WIC offices and provide support to breastfeeding mothers who qualify for WIC at no additional cost. While the requirements vary state by state, WIC Peer Counselors are mothers who have breastfed themselves and have completed comprehensive study in breastfeeding management, counseling, cultural diversity, and education.

Get Yer Freak On. Doula's Orders.

Today is my May Mama's estimated due date.  Well okay, her original EDD is the 28th, but they pushed it back to today because of imaging.  Which means I'm still considering her to be due on the 28th.

When I talked to her today, she was anxious.  Her last two babies had been born at 39.5 weeks exactly, and going "past" her due date was worrying her.  I reassured her that all babies are born eventually, and besides, as her midwife already said, third babies tend to be the odd ones out.  Old wives' tale, sure, but backed up with years of observation by pretty much every midwife I've ever talked to.

Then, showing my nerd-colors a bit, I reminded her that babies, like wizards, are never late.  They arrive precisely when they mean to. 


We went on to have a good conversation about inducing labor naturally.  And no, I'm not talking about smearing your vag with evening primrose oil or doing shots of castor oil.  I tend to be cautious about those methods when a mama isn't being threatened with medical induction, since they tend to have negative side-effects that are, let's say, unpleasant.

But to simply get things going, I always say, a mama needs to simply have a really good night: get a nice long foot/calf massage, have a half glass of red wine, and have some good sex.  Or as I call it, the Sex, Booze, and Foot Rubs Method.

While the above methods tend to be looked at as mere old wives' tales, there is in fact scientific basis for their use.  And besides, unlike castor oil and assuming we're only recommending a half glass of wine, there is little to no risk of negative side-effects.

Here's why they work!

The Sex

Oxytocin, the so-called "love hormone," is at least partly responsible for three distinct physiological events in a woman's reproductive cycle: orgasm, labor, and breastfeeding.  As a sex-positive doula and lactation educator, you might say that oxytocin is my homegirl.

The female orgasm was once thought of as relatively inconsequential to the reproductive process.  In fact, some fertility specialists have even suggested that orgasm "dilutes" a woman's chance of becoming pregnant.  (I call bullshit.  Also sexism.  But that's another post.)  Au contraire, says a bulk of new-ish research that essentially reaffirms what lay-health workers have been saying for years: orgasm increases your chances of conception.  See, when a woman orgasms, her body releases even more vaginal secretion than she does when simply "aroused," helping to lubricate the sperm's path to the egg.  Additionally, the oxytocin released via orgasm contracts the uterus, lowering the cervix (the "neck" of the uterus) and making the uterus more accepting of a fertilized egg (ever wonder what that tight feeling in your lower abdomen was?).

Sidebar: Oxytocin is also associated
with trust, which helps explain why
women who have good relationships
with their care providers tend to have
smoother labors.

So oxytocin contracts the uterus.  Hence labor.  But the wonder-hormone's job isn't over when the placenta is delivered.  Oxytocin is also responsible for the milk "letting down" during breastfeeding.  See, when a woman first lays eyes on her baby, she's essentially OD'ing on oxytocin, as is baby.  That's the love hormone doing its job.  Baby will hopefully find her/his way to a nipple and begin suckling.  When the nipples are stimulated, oxytocin is released from the posterior pituitary gland, contracting the tiny myoepithelial cells inside the milk ducts, forcing milk out of the breast and into baby's mouth.  That oxytocin release is still doing it's job "down there," helping mama's uterus to clamp down post-delivery, thus reducing risk of excessive postpartum bleeding. 

I mention the connection to breastfeeding because oxytocin is also released with nipple stimulation.  Women who are into nipple stimulation during sex may enjoy it for a number of reasons, but physiologically it's because that burst of oxytocin contracts the uterus (which essentially puts interior pressure on the clitoris and, well, you get it).  In other words, if you're into nip-stim, include that in your labor-inducing sex practice.  Otherwise you can just turn on your breast pump when you're finished doin' the deed, and you will probably get a lot of the same benefits.

If a woman is having sex with a man, his stuff may play a labor-inducing role as well.  Semen contains prostaglandins, autocrine hormones that help to soften ("ripen") the cervix.  A softer cervix makes the fertilization/implantation process more likely, but these hormones work the same when a woman is already pregnant.  The low dose of prostaglandins in semen alone aren't likely to induce labor in a woman who's not yet term (which is why care providers don't warn against sex during pregnancy unless a woman is at risk for preterm labor), but the mild softening in a term mama might just be enough to tip her into labor mode.  As an added bonus, if he's, let's say, "gifted," his penis hitting against the cervix may indeed induce some mild (but not earth-shattering) uterine contractions.

Captain Obvious moment: I generally don't recommend the prostaglandin method if a mama is in a relationship where she's at risk for a sexually transmitted infection.  The last thing she needs is to be infected with an STI right before a baby comes squeezing through her vagina!  If infection is an issue, sex with a condom still contains the benefits of oxytocin and cervical pressure.  Masturbation is a safe and effective alternative for women who don't have a partner (or just simply don't want to engage in partner sex).  Again, oxytocin is stronger than prostaglandins... go team vag!

The Booze

While its use remains controversial amongst even the most alternative midwives, wine in small quantities (a glass or less) is thought to help the mother's body relax through the anxiety that often hinders the body's ability to start labor on its own.  Anxiety leads to the release of catecholamines, the "stress hormone" which interferes with the release of oxytocin.  So while the alcohol itself does not induce labor (it can, in fact, cause vasodilation, which actually hinders labor progress), a bit of wine to "take the edge off" of what ever stress a mama may be experiencing can help things along. 

The Foot Rubs

There are several pressure points in the feet and ankles that, when massaged, may induce uterine contractions.  The first is in the soft area between the achilles tendon and the medial malleolus (the "knotty" bone on the inside of the ankle).  The second is about four finger-widths above the malleolus.  Even if the massage does not actually induce contractions, a nice ankle rub may help with the ankle swelling many women experience as they get further along in pregnancy.

A midwife also once told me that the heel is a reflexology point to the cervix.  In fact, she says, you can often read how effaced (soft) a woman's cervix is by compressing her heel, and can often soften a "tough lip" by rubbing out hard points.  I have no research to back that up, just one midwife's anecdote.

And by now my May Mama has called and said that since I gave her the above information, she's been contracting steadily (but lightly) for the past little while.  So there.  Get yer freak on, doula's orders.

Breastfeeding Advocacy: You're Doin It Wrong

If there's one thing breastfeeding advocates are really good at, it's spouting off the numerous health benefits of breastfeeding while listing the risks of artificial formulas.  You'd be hard-pressed to find a mom who, for example, couldn't tell you that breastfed babies have less illness, fewer allergies, or a lower risk of childhood obesity. 

And yet US breastfeeding rates are abysmal, with fewer than 15% of American women exclusively breastfeeding for the WHO recommendation of six months, and only about 44% of six-month old babies are breastfeeding with supplementation or complementary foods.  The numbers drop even more once you get to the WHO's recommendation of breastfeeding with the addition of complementary foods past the first year, with only 23% of babies receiving any breastmilk at all past that landmark. And of course, lower-income women and women of color are far more likely to quit breastfeeding earlier.

We've heard it all before: "My milk dried up after three months."  "I had to go back to work, and it just wasn't possible anymore."  "I didn't know lactation consultants existed."  "I had way too much going on in my life to fix the problem."  "I couldn't afford lactation support."  "My partner didn't support my decision to breastfeed." For these situations, pamphlets and ad campaigns that regurgitate the old "breast is best" adage aren't going to suddenly resolve breastfeeding challenges.  All they're going to do is create more guilt and shame in the minds of mothers who, despite their best efforts, just couldn't make it work for them. 

So says a recent study regarding the Surgeon General's 2011 "Call to Action to Support Breastfeeding."  The Call, hardly a breastfeeding-friendly overhaul of the nation's health care system, has been received as mere propaganda that spouts a message without providing realistic solutions.  Mothers surveyed say the Call gave them more reasons to feel bad about not breastfeeding without providing actual mandates that change the way new mothers are able to make autonomous parenting choices.

I will say this: the article does an incredibly shoddy job of analyzing the situation.  Instead of asking why so few mothers make it to the six month mark, ABC News chooses instead to interview a medical professional, a professor of pediatrics nonetheless, who says that there are "other options" for women who aren't producing enough milk for their children.

On the other side, the Peanut Gallery provides very little reprieve, featuring commentary from the very short-sighted "I-Did-It-So-Everyone-Can" camp:

• "Everyone has to do what works for them, but for most women who get past the learning curve (which takes up to 6 weeks), the convenience of breastfeeding is a huge blessing."
  Yeah, tell that to the woman who has to go back to her minimum-wage job after four weeks and won't be able to express milk while at work. 
  
• "I think I'll wait until more moms get over their denial over being lazy mothers first. Children aren't dogs or cats, either put up or shut up if you're going to make the choice to have one."
  Right, that's why women stop breastfeeding, because they're lazy.  Not because they were in a situation that looks nothing like yours (gasp!). 
  
• "3 babies died this year from formula i am sure the moms that fed there [sic] babies that formula had tried to breastfeed hard those babies would be here today and there are breastmilk banks throgh [sic] the hospital where people dnate [sic] extra milk it is drug tested and safe"
  Okay, first of all, let's try some punctuation.  You can learn how to use it at many public institutions including elementary school.  Secondly, donated milk at milk banks is generally reserved for very sick or premature babies and is generally not available for public use.  Finally, even if you did find a milk bank that would provide milk for a well baby, its distribution would not be covered by insurance.  Milk banks charge upwards of $3 per ounce (for those of you playing along at home, that's about $72 a day).  And while more communities now have underground (non-banked) milk sharing programs, many mothers just aren't comfortable accepting unpasteurized milk from a stranger. 

No one in either camp, be it "breast is best" or "stop shaming formula-feeding moms," seems to adequately get to the heart of the problem.  No, we shouldn't be guilt-tripping mothers who, for whatever reason, stopped breastfeeding before one year or never tried at all.  But we also shouldn't just accept that 86% of American mothers made some autonomous decision to not exclusively breastfeed!  Let me be clear: campaigns that tout the many benefits of breastfeeding (and risks of formula-feeding) are valuable, but they aren't going to raise the bar alone.  To truly create a society where mothers are able to make autonomous infant feeding decisions, we need to be a bit more radical. 

To start, let me suggest:

• Complete physical, spiritual, and emotional control over when we bring children into the world in the first place.  About half of all pregnancies are unintended, and many mothers struggle just to be able to provide a safe place for their infants to sleep at night.  For these mothers, whether or not their babies are at heightened risk for childhood obesity may be the furthest thing from their minds.   
• Access to quality maternity care regardless of ability to pay.  Actually, let's just go ahead and say that health care is a human right and should not be a part of our for-profit system.  
• Insurance and Medicaid reimbursement for lactation support and any equipment needed to implement a plan of care.  
• Longer maternity leave with full pay, followed by full employer support for mothers who need time and space to express breastmilk while at work.
• Free childcare.
• More support from friends, family, and society at large.  While women who are successful at breastfeeding are more likely to do so for longer than, say, thirty years ago, there is still a large percent of people who believe breastfeeding past six months is somehow akin to sexual abuse or just plain "creepy."  
• Education about breastfeeding as the normal way to feed a baby beginning in the early years of elementary school.  Maybe bring back the famous Sesame Street segment. 
• Teaching girls from an early age that our bodies are totally rad and that there's nothing "gross" or "weird" about our periods, our pregnancies, or our ability to produce milk. 

Pipe dreams.

Everything I need to know about birth, I learned from Bradley

The Bradley Method is one of the more popular childbirth education programs in the U.S.  Which is just wonderful, because Bradley has so many great lessons to teach us about the process of pregnancy and childbirth.  To name a few:

• All laboring people are heterosexual and married to a man.  Moreover, all laboring people are women.
• Your husband (what, you have one, don't you??) knows more about your process than you do.  Don't ever forget this.  
• Everything you put in your body during pregnancy makes your baby sad.
• If you utilize any medical interventions, be it an epidural or just a Foley bulb, you've failed as a woman and your body hates you.
• If you have a cesarean, you suck at life and should just go ahead and kill yourself.
• Don't listen to your HCP when she tries to give you postpartum Pitocin for excessive bleeding... she's way too medical and doesn't know anything.  
• If families really care about their birthing experience, they will find a way to shell out the big bucks for a Bradley class.  Priorities, folks.
• Teaching expectant parents about the pros and cons of medical interventions will only encourage their use.  You don't need to know how an epidural is administered... you aren't going to have one because it will kill you and your baby.
• Erythromycin is only for the babies of slutty unmarried women.  Hospitals shouldn't even mention it to married women because there is absolutely no possible way that they have gonorrhea.  Additionally, erythromycin will make you fail at breastfeeding and therefore as a person.
• The female-bodied are incapable of doing anything rad without a strong male presence overseeing their entire process.
• Miscarriage, fetal demise, and birth defects don't just "happen."  You did something wrong and should feel very, very bad for poisoning your baby like that.
• "Tough love" is the best way to ensure a woman gets the birth she hoped she'd have before labor even began.  Seriously, lock the anesthesiologist in the supply closet if you have to.  The mama is completely incapable of knowing what she wants during such a hysterical period.  (Pun totally intended.)
• Only people who support late-term abortion have amniocentesis.  How dare you would kill your baby like that.
• Even a drop of infant formula will make your child retarded.  Forget so-called "failure to thrive" and don't worry... IBCLCs are a part of the medical conspiracy and don't know shit either. 

This Is Why Your Kids Are Sick

Mere hours after running across this fantastic mama blog on all the great reasons to let your kids get dirty, I discovered a brand new product that Lysol thinks we should all be using: disinfectant spray for your fabrics! 

Not to get all "back in my day," because to be sure, "my day" wasn't all that long ago.  And I'm sure the 80s had their share of "Lysol Moms" too.  Fortunately, my mom wasn't one of them, and I have the immune system to thank for it.  This is not to say that all kids who get sick a lot or who have many allergies are victims of over-cleanliness, but if you're questioning why more and more older kids and young adults seem to get knocked on their asses every time a virus goes around, you might not have to look much further than Target's cleaner aisles.  (And a few other choice environmental hazards.)

The "germophobia" thing bugs me for more reasons than the fact that other people's kids are going to be getting sicker (though I do work in health, so it is a concern of mine).  It's bad enough that whole generations of children are being denied the ability to develop their own immune systems, but there are other consequences as well:

• The burden of a sterile environment falls, not surprisingly, on Mom.  Women, especially moms, have long been targeted for their consumer ability and the expectation that they will keep their homes spotless.  The blame for anything less than a 100% sterile environment generally falls right smack on "bad mothering." 
• Creating a sterile environment requires a home keeper to purchase products, and lots of them.  Clorox, Proctor and Gamble, and others are really cashing in on the germophobia that they have surely had a hand in creating.  
• These products are horrible -- let me say that again -- HORRIBLE for the environment.  Whether it's in their manufacturing, transport, or utility, the vast majority of cleaning products are riddled with chemicals that create a toxic (albeit a "sterile" version of toxic) environment. 
• I'm not gonna lie... I believe that germophobia can limit a kid's right to be a kid.  Playing in the dirt, touching stuff that all their friends have touched, sharing an ice cream cone with your dog... it's what I want for my kid(s?), and I know it's what many kids want for themselves.  They don't need to have these awesome activities interrupted every 20 minutes for a "Purell break."
• That a huge body of medical research encourages parents to let their kids be dirty little hooligans proves just how pervasive the sterile impulse is. 

So while I may entitle this collection "This Is Why Your Kid Is Sick All The Time," know that I have more concerns than the strength of a child's immune system.  To be sure, the immunity is a big one, but what goes along with it is an all-encompassing, uber-feminist anti-capitalist vendetta against all things sterile.

The product that started it all.  You know, for all the household items that can't be sprayed down with traditional disinfectant.  I imagine this product is much like Febreze, except it's guaranteed to kill everything in its path... including, most likely, one or two layers of your skin.

 

Proudly wear your Purell Bling!  Hook it everywhere... your pocket book, backpack, diaper bag... oh yes, don't forget to slop the stuff all over your infant (I've seen it done)!

 

Lysol Disinfectant Spray... for the air!  Just spray it everywhere.  For serious, just run around your house letting that aerosol can add some sterility to the very air you breathe.

Germ-X is basically just isopropyl alcohol, so while its over-use will eventually create more alcohol-resistant bacteria (not to mention halt your kids' immune development if it's over-used), it's generally not terrible for the environ... oh, shit.  "Individually Wrapped Wipes?" Crap.

 Meanwhile, in the world of creating a problem so you can sell the solution, Kleenex is trying to convince you that cloth hand towels are germ-ridden plague factories.  According to their website,  "The CDC guidelines for hand washing recommends hand drying with a single-use towel."  (Oh, do they now?)  Of course, for those committed to keeping their home as sterile as the average clinic environment, sure, why not toss out those money- and environment-saving cloth towels for a single-use piece of paper?

Taking a break from cleaning products to point out the single most effective way folks can help their kids develop a strong immune systems: BREASTFEEDING!  Won't go too deeply into this one, since if you're reading my blog you already know it, but breastmilk contains more readily-digestible vitamins, nutrients, and yes, immune-building antibodies than any other infant food.  In fact, new research suggests that the mama's skin cells (ingested by baby when s/he latches) contain antibodies that fight off air-borne infections that might have just entered the environment (can't find the article right now, sorry).  In other words, putting baby to breast is like a more effective (and less stinky) Lysol spray! 

I know, I know... shopping carts are loaded with nasty crap.  But come on.  If it's flu season, by all means, wipe it down with a wet cloth (or just be old-school and wash your hands after you shop), but let's not forget the effects of antibacterial over-use.

I might get shat on for this one.  I admit, shopping carts are incredibly dirty, and the covers are incredibly cute.  It might make us cringe to think about what flavors of nasty lurk upon our carts' handlebars, but I have enough friends with toddlers to know that this is far from the grossest thing your kid will put in her mouth today. Besides, isn't this just one more product that moms are being guilt-tripped into purchasing?  One more thing to carry in the diaper bag?  One more thing to futz with at the grocery store while your other youngsters run off and eat god knows what?

I saw a lil' one the other day at Earth Face, probably around 18 months, vociferously gnawing on the bare handlebars of the shopping cart.  And you know what?  I bet that child is going to be just fine.

 

Do I even need to discuss the over-use of antibiotics?  I didn't think so.  I mean, if we're talking a severe infection with a fever and all that, for the love of all that is holy, get your child some antibiotics!  But a sniffle with nothing more than a low-grade fever?  No diagnosis of infection?  Prescription for Amoxicillin "just in case?"  I wouldn't go there.

Of course, as I've said, the biggest issue I have with the clean craze (aside from the total robbing of one's childhood) is the burden it puts on women, particularly Mom, to keep the kids safe from any and all things germy.  A child that gnaws on a shopping cart handle, eats mud, or decides that the contents of the kitty litter box is candy may very well contract a virus, an infection, a parasite... but that's why we have medicine.  Preemptive treatments -- that is, the treatments that rob us of our natural abilities to fight off the bad stuff -- are well-known to put us at greater risk, and from that no one benefits.  Of course, waiting until an illness pops up doesn't make a lot of money, especially to the P&Gs of the world.  So we create problems, then sell the stuff to fix it.  And when it comes to such pervasive indoctrination of entire generations, we gotta start 'em early:

 

For the rest of you, let your kids' filth flags fly!

Breastfeeding, Options, and a Tale of Two Michelles

In the wake of a study that suggests formula-fed children are six times as likely to be obese by age three, Michelle Obama has taken up breastfeeding promotion as a main objective of her Let's Move campaign.  According to her spokesperson, the first lady is focusing not on dictating people's infant feeding choices, but instead "trying to make it easier for those who choose to [breastfeed]."

Lower-income, predominately African American communities have the lowest breastfeeding initiation rates, rates that drop even lower to around 20% at six months of age.  Children in these communities are also at the highest risk for infant death and, of course, childhood obesity, both of which breastfeeding is known to curb.  Additionally, women who breastfeed are less likely to develop breast cancer and diabetes later in life, health problems that are both prevalent among African American women.

Surveys have all but confirmed that the abysmal breastfeeding rates in lower-income communities (regardless of race) are mostly due to socioeconomic barriers: women who cannot afford (or locate) a professional lactation consultant are likely to give up breastfeeding when problems arise.  While these problems (sore nipples, engorgement, etc) can make breastfeeding unbearably painful, the assistance of a lactation specialist or consultant often provides a quick and easy fix. Additionally, lower-income women are more likely to have to return to work sooner, and, without appropriate equipment, support, and know-how, many of these women will have to give up breastfeeding all together.  Such a factor played a role in the IRS' recent decision to allow the deduction of breastpumps and other supplies as medical expenses.

Cue the circus of rich folks who are "tired of the government telling them what to do with their bodies."  Take Tea Party favorite Michelle Bachmann, whose reaction to increased accessibility of breastfeeding is probably nothing more than a political stunt: on the Laura Ingraham show, Bachmann railed against the supposed "nanny state" that we are creating by helping women make more autonomous infant feeding decisions.  Bachmann bragged, "I've given birth to five babies and I breast-fed every single one," continuing with, "To think that government has to go out and buy my breast pump ... That's the new definition of a nanny state."

Staying home and breastfeeding five babies is all well and good for Michelle Bachmann, but in communities where women are more likely to have to return to work soon after baby is born, laying down $200+ for a decent breast pump is out of the question.  Never mind that many of the jobs these women hold aren't exactly friendly to a mother's pumping needs (a cause which Mrs. Obama has also taken up), even a working mother with an office job is infinitely more able to keep her supply up while at work.  This is simply not the case in retail stores, schools, factories, and service industries.

Of course, to the hard-line conservative, women who cannot breastfeed their children should think twice about that before "choosing" to get pregnant in the first place.  Talk about government control of women's bodies: these are the same people who are currently working to remove Title X funding from family planning clinics, cut funding from supplemental nutrition programs, strike programs that provide prenatal and pediatric care, and of course, limit the accessibility of abortion.  It's almost like they, not the first lady, are the ones dictating what women are and are not able to do with their bodies, from the prevention of pregnancy to their infant feeding choices.

Michelle Obama's call to promote breastfeeding is hardly a question of government intervention.  Women know that breastfeeding is best, and most women want to be able to provide breastmilk for their children.  The problem is not that the government is intervening, but that for many women, continuing to breastfeed is out of the question.  Breaking down barriers, providing education and support, and promoting the healithiest of healthy practices is not just best for our newest citizens, it is in fact a practice that could save billions in medical costs per year.  You'd think these purported "fiscal conservatives" would be down with that... but then, who ever said they were champions of sound logic?

Toddler Nursing in America

American society has this strange relationship with breastfeeding.  By which I mean, while we're supposedely a "medically advanced" nation where breastfeeding is actively promoted by many health care professionals, we're also a capitalist nation where the breasts are commodified for the pleasure of the dominant gaze.

We tend to be 100% pro-breastfeeding in concept, but once a woman oversteps her bounds, leaving the home only to take the breast out to feed the baby in public, we flip out: "Couldn't she have prepared a bottle ahead of time?" "She should put a blanket over her baby's head!" "Why doesn't she formula-feed while in public, then breastfeed at home?" "I don't need to see that!"

Our societal "support" for breastfeeding indeed has its limits, and nowhere is this as clear as everybody's favorite, the time limit.  Even though the World Health Organization recommends breastfeeding beyond infancy and well into the toddler years, I guess the United States is just beyond all that.

For some reason, women who breastfeed older babies and toddlers are always making the news.  From the mother's perspective, I suppose the press is a good way to raise awareness of toddler nursing, the reasons some women might forgo weaning for a while, the reasons their children like to breastfeed, etc.  But the news never seems to use their story in such a way; indeed, women who breastfeed toddlers are "extreme," they are "anomalies," and therefore, they are news-worthy.  They legitimize their stance by bringing in specialists to weigh in:

"Child psychologist Will Braun told ABC News, 'I think a child really needs to learn to develop the capacity to soothe oneself, the capacity to tolerate frustration.  When a child is constantly given a breast, it might thwart that from happening.'"

Yes, small children need to be taught to buck up and get over it.  Never mind that most crying children would receive breast-free condolences from their parents anyway... children who need soothing are going to be robbed of learning the American Way: pull yourself up by your bootstraps, and don't ever rely on anyone else for help (that shows weakness).

And of course, where would the modern day news media be without the comments section? The Peanut Gallery always has something to say, especially when it comes to women's health.  So as you can imagine, a story relating to toddlers breastfeeding is pure gold.  Some of my favorites:

• "These kids are getting robbed of nutrition!  When are they going to learn to eat grown-up food?  That can't be good for them."
• "Oh my god, those poor children are going to be so messed up!"
• "Time to cut the cord, lady!"
• "So self-serving, [featured mother] is not doing her kids any favors by stunting their development like that."
• "I would not let my child have a friend who was still nursing!"
• "This woman is abusing these kids.  She should be locked up for child abuse."

 I noticed first that several comments show a complete lack of understanding about what, exactly, is involved with toddler nursing (or breastfeeding in general).  So I'll break it down real fast:

• Older infants and toddlers get both breastmilk and solid food.  In fact, most babies (hopefully) will have a period of time where they are still breast- or formula-fed and are starting to eat solid foods.  This is how many babies are weaned, by slowly replacing breastmilk with grown-up food.  A woman who still breastfeeds her toddlers is not exclusively breastfeeding.  That's ridiculous.
• A woman who breastfeeds a toddler is not doing it for wholly nutritious reasons.  While extended breastfeeding does in fact help to continue to fight off allergies and infections as the baby grows, for most children nursing is about being soothed, bonding with Mommy, and getting ready for bed.  It is possible to have benefits that can't be quantified in some study, you know.
• Toddler nursing does not stunt a child's development by somehow "locking them into infancy."  In fact, breastfeeding for longer is associated with better social skills and trust of others as the child grows up. 

But what's most troubling here are the accusations of "abuse," of "messing the child up" as s/he grows and develops with access to the breast.  Once again, these comments exhibit a complete lack of understanding about social use vs. biological use.  The breasts are not inherently sexual, especially to a child who has only ever seen the them as a soothing, warm way to eat and bond.  Why is breastfeeding a three year-old any more "sexual abuse" than breastfeeding a baby who's only just been born? 

When it comes to women's issues, especially when it comes to pregnancy and mothering, time and time again we see that other people think they know best.  A woman who enjoys one glass of wine during pregnancy is "selfish."  A woman who formula-feeds her newborn is "risking their health" regardless of what led her to that choice.  A woman who breastfeeds her older baby is "abusing them."  Women whose babies cry in public need to feed them right away, but not from the breast, or at least not without throwing a blanket over the baby's head.  Women always need to do something different, personal desires be damned, for the sake of a baby that society will simultaneously take and not take responsibility for.

It all comes back to our fickle acceptance of breastfeeding.  We know the benefits, we accept that it's something women might do for a short period of time, but we don't want to think about it or see it.  We know it's best for the baby, but we don't want the baby to ever remember doing it.  We can't have babies growing up to not think of the breasts as inherently sexual; no, there's millions lost there.  Besides, where would our breast cancer campaigns be without booby jokes?!