Rant, plus possible TMI

I have a weird cyst-like thing on my boob.  I'm 90% sure it's nothing, but it never hurts to be sure.  So I went to Planned Parenthood, where, thanks to the failed efforts to defund the organization, I was able to get a breast exam for practically nothing.  The NP told me what I thought, that she's 90% sure it was nothing.  But to be safe, maybe we should think about referring me to a specialist.

Now, here I had two choices: trust the NP's 90% judgment, or go ahead with the referral.  What could be the harm, anyway?  So I had PP schedule my appointment with a local specialist for imaging.

Unfortunately, the specialists didn't get rich by offering the low-cost health care that Planned Parenthood offers.  Not having insurance that pays for PREVENTATIVE care, the specialist appointment will run me over $300.  THREE HUNDRED.   

Now, my insurance would cover me if I waited for whatever this thing is to grow and spread and threaten my life, assuming it is something we should be worried about.  They would gladly front the thousands of dollars in cancer treatment in the rare case that that's what this cyst-like thingy is.  But no, we can't have them just tossing checks at early diagnostic or preventative treatment.  Not for the pithy $100 I send them every month.

That's the problem here.  I have $100 to spend on health insurance each month.  That gives me the chance to be covered if I get hit by a truck or if my life is in danger due to some awful disease that I likely wouldn't recover from anyway.  To actually prevent the need for thousands of dollars in health care costs, however, I have to pay the $300 out of pocket.

Sound familiar?  The government's Medicaid program is similar.  It is completely willing to pay (minimal) prenatal and delivery costs for pregnant folks, but ask Medicaid for $300 for an abortion (or a fraction of the cost for a midwife-assisted home birth), and you get jack shit.  They'd rather pay thousands than hundreds, mostly because they know that a person who REALLY needs to come up with the fee will come up with it, even if it means they can't pay for groceries for the next few weeks.

It comes down to ideology, be it capitalist or antichoice, or a mix of both.  Either way, I'm paying that $300 to have my boob looked at, or I'm not and it's nothing anyway so my insurance company doesn't have to pay anyone anything anyhow.  Just like a pregnant person will either find that $300 for an abortion, or she'll use Medicaid for minimal prenatal and pediatric care and the government can continue using statistics about poor women being a drain on society.  Because she had no other choice.  Because no one gave her another choice.

Thing is, I have way more resources than the pregnant person living in public housing with her two kids finding herself pregnant again and unable to pay for groceries.  There's no comparison once you scratch the surface; I can get that $300 way more easily than she can.  My parents, for example.  Or savings.  But it doesn't change the fact that we both could have benefited from the public option that the Democrats abandoned like frightened kittens all because some misled jackass in a Paul Revere costume sat in a lawn chair and held up a sign.

Whatever this thing is, it's nothing.  I know that.  But it doesn't pay to take risks.  The use of growth hormones in our food has given us pre-menopausal breast cancer rates like we've never seen before.  I need to be careful.  I need to be smart.  I need to have it looked at.  It's just too bad that being careful and smart is a privilege reserved for those of us with the financial resources to buy it.  And we can just keep believing that the many women who let those mysterious lumps go unattended are just a "drain" on a society that drained them first.

Last Night's Nums: Stir-Fried Curry Rice Noodles w/ Shrimp

As if I had any doubts about a recipe that involved the words "stir-fry," "curry," and "shrimp!"  And it did not disappoint.  Of course, in true form, I altered the recipe ever so slightly... only slightly, as recipes from America's Test Kitchen are usually perfect just the way they're published.

This dish is pretty easy and not very expensive, especially considering it's a whole meal on its own! I think I already had everything I needed except for the red bell pepper, the rice noodles, and the shrimp.  The shrimp were by far the most expensive ingredient, but I figure this recipe could easily be duplicated with another shellfish, tofu, or even just thinly-sliced potato chunks.  I wouldn't try it with chicken, as it's a pretty delicate curry and works really well with the shrimpy flavor.  Definitely worth the cost, and hey, you only need 12 ounces.

Additionally, this recipe is quick.  I usually shy away from curry recipes when I don't have a sous-chef, but I didn't want to wait until my husband's semester is over to make something like this!  The 20 minutes hot water soak is definitely the most time-consuming part, and the prep work took me less than 10 minutes... plenty of time to pour myself a glass of wine and check my email.  After that it's 2 minutes here, 2 minutes there, a few minutes to finish, and BAM!  Dinner's ready.


Stir-Fried Curry Rice Noodles with Shrimp

8 oz rice stick noodles (about 1/4-inch thick)
1/4 cup water
3 tbsp vegetable oil (You might need more if you're like me and don't use a non-stick skillet.)
3 tablespoons fish sauce
1 tablespoon lime juice
1 tablespoon sugar
1 onion, thinly sliced
1 red bell pepper, seeded and thinly sliced
12 ounces extra-large shrimp, peeled and deveined
4-5 garlic cloves, minced
1 tablespoon red curry paste (Note: The original recipe called for 1 tbsp of curry powder, but I'm an idiot and didn't remember that we were out.  I loved the curry paste, however, and can see the powder method getting a bit "grainy" and dry.)
6 scallions, cut into 1-inch lengths, reserving greens for later
1/2 cups basil (This was my other addition.  Can't have curry noodles without basil!)

Directions

1. Cover noodles with boiling water in bowl. Soak until softened but not completely tender, about 15 - 20 minutes. Drain noodles.
2. Whisk water, 2 tbsp oil, fish sauce, lime juice and sugar until sugar dissolves.
3. Heat remaining oil in large nonstick skillet (I used a large saucier, worked much better because of the depth) over medium heat until shimmering. Cook onion and bell pepper until softened, about 3 minutes.
4. Stir in shrimp, garlic and curry paste. Cook until fragrant and shrimp are nearly cooked through, about 2 minutes.
5. Add scallions, softened noodles and fish sauce mixture. Cook, tossing constantly, until noodles are completely tender and shrimp cooked through, about 2 minutes.
6. Remove from heat.  Add basil and reserved greens (chopped), toss to combine.
7. Pour yourself a glass of white wine and ENJOY!

A Funny Thing Happened at the Planned Parenthood Rally

There are those who believe that everything happens for a reason... as in, the universe works the way it's supposed to, this isn't some sort of pre-destination religious conversation.  Sometimes really cool things happen, and you just know that they were meant to go that way.  If the woman leaving the sew and vac shop had approached anyone else, it might have been completely different.  But she approached me.

I was at a rally for Planned Parenthood at the health center right next to my house.  The Senate is looking at the bill passed by the House last month that would effectively de-fund Planned Parenthood, even though federal funds are already barred from going to abortion services. 

I was leaving.  Many supporters had stayed behind to line the sidewalks, but I had a yoga class to get to.  As I said a final buh-bye to several of the clinic workers that I know, I noticed a woman leaving the sew and vac shop, looking disapprovingly at the gathering of pink-shirted Planned Parenthood supporters.  Our eyes met as I started walking in much the same plane towards my car.  I gave her a smile, the way I do with strangers whose gazes I sometimes catch.  I was going to leave it at that, but she approached me.  "You're young," she started, then lightly touched my shoulder and glanced back at the big pink bus with "I STAND WITH PLANNED PARENTHOOD" written in big block letters.  "Have you ever seen a live birth, hun?" 

I was taken aback for a moment.  This could have been anyone, and her obvious attempt at an anti-abortion one-liner could have been about anything.  And yet she approached me.  And her question was about birth.  Specifically, have I ever seen one?

I smiled and looked into her eyes while I fumbled around in my purse.  It could not have been more perfect... like it was meant to happen.  "All the time," I said, smiling, and handed her my card.  She raised her eyebrows in an inquisitive way, likely when she read "Birth Doula."  It was obvious to me, probably to her as well, that I had at the very least made a tiny crack in her idea of what it means to be pro-choice.

Unfortunately, I did have a yoga class to get to, and to be quite honest I didn't have much else to say.  So I said nothing else.  I gave a slight nod, got into my car, and left.  The woman remained in place, looking at the crowd of Planned Parenthood supporters gathered in the parking lot, and put my card into her wallet.

This is one of those moments that happened with Intention.  She Intentionally approached me, she Intentionally asked about birth, and I Intentionally handed her my card that answered her question in ways that she hadn't expected.

I set certain rules for engaging with anti-abortion folks.  If we're friends or colleagues, I don't ever mention it.  If they're wingnuts, I don't befriend them at all, but if they're simply "pro-life" then we can probably get along in most social settings.  I don't have "the argument," by which I mean, I refuse to risk burnout by debating when life begins and all that jazz with someone whose mind is not going to be changed.  However, I hope this woman contacts me.  My card contains phone and email information, and I hope she uses it.

Why?  Because she seemed intrigued.  Because, at least after her initial question, she wasn't trying to "convert" me to her ways of thinking.  Because I feel like I could at least have a real conversation with this person, even if it doesn't change her opinions on abortion or pregnancy prevention.

Not because doulas are awesome (though we are, heh).  But because people who believe in the right to reproductive autonomy are diverse.  We're the exact kind of person you'd expect a pro-choice activist to be; at the same time, we are not at all the kind of person you would think would be pro-choice.  We're young and old, we have kids and we don't, we're all kinds of professions and political identities, we're all gender identities and we fall in love with all kinds of people.  We're cat lovers, we like hip hop and we like Kenny G.  We're nurses and doctors and midwives.  We're students and drop-outs.  We're all races.  We speak every language.  We have all possible experiences with pregnancy and infertility.  We've seen live birth or we haven't.  We like sex or we don't.  We drive pick-up trucks and ride bikes, we practice yoga and we attend church every single week.  We like Jersey Shore and we hate it.  We have PhDs.  We're in the military or someone we love is.  What unites us is the idea that women control their bodies.  We're pro-choice.

If you're the person I gave my card to today in the Planned Parenthood parking lot, please email me.  I want to talk more.