Something to think about

I like looking at reproductive issues in a holistic, family-centered way, but unfortunately this doesn't always do the situation justice.  Many women face unintended and challenging pregnancies alone, and they take care of it alone.  Contrary to popular belief, the woman-as-island idea is not a feminist one; feminism was founded on sisterhood, community, and cooperation.  I partially blame American individualism for what I see as a huge step back for modern feminism: the idea that women ought to be self-sufficient, overly individualistic, and not ask anything from anybody.  We as a society lack positive messages about needing to rely on someone else, unless of course it's a sort of traditional, patriarchal reliance like we see in heterocentric marriage.  Women (and men) who take advantage of public assistance have the stigma of being "freeloaders" and a drain on society.  Even on a personal level, many women feel the need to remain stoic and not ask anything from anybody, including friends and family.

I think it's the fear of being labeled a freeloader that gets women, especially women of color who have a long history of being labeled "Welfare Queens," to the point where they do not ask for help from anybody, no matter how trying the situation.  Maybe some women just feel like they can't bother others with what they've always been taught are "trivial" problems, even if it takes every ounce of personal strength to face the situation on their own.

But I've gotten way off topic.  I read an entry on Every Saturday Morning's blog that made me think:

who's fight is this?

When approached by the CPC harasser, the man really puts the situation in perspective: "If God sends me to hell for doing my duty to my family, then so be it. I’ll suffer forever as long as my family is safe and taken care of."

So much of what we do as reproductive justice advocates is directly for  women who are facing difficult and confusing decisions. And often that's the way we see it because that's all we see, as many women go through these things alone. But a more holistic approach is something I can definitely get behind: while we continue to do what we do first and foremost for women and girls, so often we are also doing it for the men in their lives and possibly even their children. Often, what we do is not just for the women but for their families.

Something to think about.